


All I can do is drown.

by Withmyshirttuckedinandmyshoesuntied



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Drowning, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, but also not i guess, dean shouldn’t have trapped himself in a box with Michael, he loves castiel, i really want dean to be happy, it’s a metaphor, kinda sad sorry guys, poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 08:35:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20672414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Withmyshirttuckedinandmyshoesuntied/pseuds/Withmyshirttuckedinandmyshoesuntied
Summary: While trapped in the  ma'lak Box dean reflects on what could have been and the love he has for castiel, a love that can never be acted upon.





	All I can do is drown.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ella( she knows who she is)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Ella%28+she+knows+who+she+is%29).

> Hey guys thank you so much for reading if you have any recommendations please let me know length and idea and all that good stuff down in the comments or message me. Thank you so much!!!

Do you know what it’s like? To drown without dying?   
Trapped in a box of your own creation at the bottom of the sea.   
To be completely alone with only you and your thoughts.   
I do. I’ve been practicing for years.   
Because even before the box was real, I was always drowning. It wasn’t water though, it was depression and anxiety and poverty; it wasn’t just a box, it was me and it was my dad.   
Trapped with nothing but that box I earned my deepest scars and learned my deepest truths, things that could never touch the light of day.   
I learned how to drown when “ you aren’t enough was the only thing keeping me down”.   
It’s not the drowning that’s the hard part though, it’s trying not to swim.   
I know how to drown, I’ve been doing it my whole life, I’ve never had a reason to swim. I’ve never had a buoy.   
I’ve never had an angel who’s eyes make me feel like I’m floating,not drowning.   
But now I do.   
He makes me want to float.   
Now I have a reason to swim, a reason to live, hell a reason to fly   
All it would take is a push, I could break out and I could be with him   
He could breathe the life back into my soul and he could make me complete.   
He could hold me and tell me it’s okay to be afraid, it’s okay to be scared of who you used to be.   
He could take me swimming and I wouldn’t be afraid   
I have so much UP THERE and all I can do is sit down here.   
All I can do is drown


End file.
